Constants
by sheldon12
Summary: "I hadn't seen him in a few years, but the Dallas I remembered sure as hell wouldn't have killed himself over some stupid kid." Dally's brother and sister come to town for his funeral looking for answers.
1. Chapter 1

We hadn't been able to see the body. They'd told us that it was too full of bullet holes. How could the cops think a 16 year old needed that many bullets to die? I kick at the dirt beside the grave cursing. How could Dallas be so fucking stupid? I hadn't seen him in a few years, but the Dallas I remembered sure as hell wouldn't have killed himself over some stupid kid.

"Little shit." Memphis throws down a pack of smokes at the grave, "Not that you deserve um." He frowns turning to leave, then grabs my neck hard, "You ever do something that stupid I'll... hell. Just don't fucking do it. Understand?" I nod, relieved when he releases pressure. Ever since Memphis got the news of Dallas' death he'd been a loose cannon and I wasn't trying to get my ass beat. Dallas had been 14 when Ma sent him to live with Dad, she had her hands full with Memphis and once Dallas started getting in trouble she decided one of them had to go.

"Let's get out of here." I wanted to forget all about this stupid town full of hicks and I wanted Memphis to go back to being the uncaring bastard I knew he was. Earlier at the funeral I knew he was close to tears and I didn't like it one bit. I liked certain constants in my life and Memphis being a dick was one of those constants.

"We ain't headed back to New York yet."

"Why not?"

"Ain't you curious at all what Dallas' been up to?"

"He's dead either way. What does it matter what he's been up to?" I frown at Memphis and he scowls smacking me. We'd arrived last night at our Dad's house and it was pretty awkward, considering we hadn't seen him in 9 years. He's left 5 minutes after we got there and had shown up to the funeral shit faced. I wasn't looking forward to spending any more time than we already had with him.

"Feel free to walk your ass home. I ain't leaving yet."

"Fine. Can we at least get something to eat? I'm starving."

"If it'll get you to shut up." He growls and we make our way to the first diner we see in silence. There are a few kids leaning up against their cars outside, but most of the booths inside are empty. I recognize a group of kids as having been at Dally's funeral. Memphis must notice them too because he makes towards them locking eyes.

"Memphis." One of them nods indicating we should sit down. I tilt my head confused but follow suit as my brother sits down.

"This is Raleigh. Raleigh this is Darry, Soda, Pony, Steve, and Two-Bit." I wasn't entirely sure how Memphis knew all these people but I smile and nod at them.

"Shit occasion for seeing you again, but we're glad you're here." Darry addresses my brother shaking his head.

"How do you know these people?" I ask Memphis starting to feel left out.

"Came and visited Dallas last year for his birthday."

"But you were in prison."

"I got out early."

"Why didn't you bring me?"

"Didn't want any little sisters following us around." The hurt must show on my face because he adds, "Dallas was pretty sour I didn't bring you though." He ruffles my hair then starts reminiscing with Dallas' friends about his past visit. I don't have much to add to the conversation so I sit there stewing on the fact Memphis got to see Dallas one last time before he died and I didn't. Then I remembered the constants and was glad Memphis was holding true.

"We're heading over the Bucks later if you guys want to join." The prospect of getting out the house excites me and I look up.

"Sure. Just gotta drop this one off." He motions to me and I frown.

"Come on, Memphis, I wanna go."

"No." He shoots me a glare and I know to keep quiet.

"We'll meet you there then. Remember where it is?"

"Yea." Memphis pushes me out of the booth and we head to the car.

"Just let me go with you Memphis." I finally spit out once the doors close and he starts up the engine.

"You're too young. I'm not bringing my tag along little sister to a bar."

"I don't want to stay by myself with Dad. I don't even know him."

"What are you scared?" Memphis laughs.

"It's not fair." He doesn't even respond to me just stops out in front of Dad's house and waits for me to get out. I half expect him to tell me to get back in when I finally step out, but he just speeds off. I watch him drive off until the tail lights are gone.

"You're Dallas' sister right?" I jump at the voice and ready myself to run when I see the hood that's come to stand beside me.

" ." I stutter and he grins.

"Curly Shepard." He extends a hand and I relax a bit taking it.

"Raleigh."

"What are you up to tonight?"

I shrug, "My brother ditched me." I motion to the car that has long since driven off, "So hanging out with the old man I guess." I cast my direction to the house where Dad is sitting on the couch in the dark with just the blue light of the television surrounding him.

"I'm heading to a party. Want to go?" Memphis would be pissed. He didn't exactly tell me I couldn't go anywhere though – just that I couldn't go with him. So I smirk and answer,

"Sure." Grinning Curly puts his arm around me and leads me down the street.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't like the way Raleigh's been looking at me all day, like I'm the fragile one that's about to break, and I'm glad to be rid of her. I'd been embarrassed at the funeral, when I felt myself welling up, and her disapproving looks didn't help. Dallas was my little brother for Christ's sake. Maybe I'd taught her to be too cold.

Dallas had brought me to Buck's when I'd visited and he'd told me all about how he rode ponies, and honest at that. The two of us had gotten wasted and fought with some rich kids. He'd seemed like nothing had changed then, so what had happened?

"Memphis! Over here!" Two-Bit is motioning me over and I join them in a game of pool. Pony, the kid Dallas helped hide, is here and I feel a little guilty about not brining Raleigh, hell she was probably older than that kid.

"How long are ya'll staying?" Darry finally asks after I've whipped all their asses in pool a few times.

I shrug, "Maybe a week. Gotta get the kid back to school eventually."

Darry nods looking over at his own brother. Sometimes I wished I could be more like Darry and make Raleigh go to school and do well, but Winston's don't take well to being told what to do and she was no exception. I'd be happy if she graduated.

"So this is Dallas Winston's big brother." A tough looking hood with a deep scar on his cheek saunters over smirking.

"And who are you?" I growl ready to fight if this guy had some kind of beef with my brother.

"Tim Shepard. Dallas was a good man. We're gonna miss him."

I relax, recognizing the name. Dallas had mentioned the feud of a friendship he'd had with Tim Shepard. They'd be slashing each other's tires one week and beating on socs together the next.

"He was something alright."

"You and your sister sure do look like him." This peaks my attention.

"How do you know what my sister looks like?" The growl is back in my voice. He certainty didn't look like someone I wanted Raleigh around –Dallas' friend or not - he tilts his head confused.

"She was heading out to some party with my little brother."

"She what?" I could feel the anger rising in my chest, the little shit. Honestly, I couldn't blame her for not wanting to hang out with Dad, but it still annoyed me when she did shit like this.

"You didn't know? They told me I could find you here, so I figured you knew." Raleigh wanted to get caught, she must be really pissed I didn't bring her when I visited Dallas last year.

"You know where they are?" My teeth are gritted and I know I should wait a bit before going to find her, the last thing I wanted to do was kill her. She could be so naïve sometimes though and I didn't want anyone else hurting her.

"Come on. I'll take you there."

"I'll drive. See ya'll later." I abruptly wave goodbye to the boys and storm out to my car. Tim directs me through the streets of Tulsa, until we pull up in front of a house with kids spilling out the front. Everyone there looks too young to be there and I want to bash all their heads in, dumb kids. They watch Tim and I nervously clearing a path as we make our way into the house.

"Angie?" Tim has stopped following me and is grabbing up a young girl, dragging her outside. Not seeing Raleigh anywhere inside, and not wanting to find her in any upstairs bedrooms, I decide to search the back porch. She's alone sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees shaking.

"Fuck do you think you're doing?" She doesn't look at me when I yell, but she flinches when I put a hand on her shoulder. There's a dark colored drink sitting next to her, that's mostly gone, "I'm talking to you."

I want to beat some sense into her. She was too young to be at parties like this. When she looks up at me her eyes are full of tears and I resist the urge to smack her, hell I had almost cried earlier today.

"They're just a bunch of stupid hicks. Why would Dally wanna kill himself over one of them? Plenty of his friends died in New York. It doesn't make any sense, Memphis." Her expression when she looks up begs me for answers, but I've been asking the same question this past week so I just shrug and take a seat beside her.

"Quit crying." She quickly wipes at her eyes and I hand her a smoke, hoping she'll calm down. There was nothing worse than girls crying.

"Are you mad at me?" She hiccups and I almost laugh at how miserable she looks. I'd never caught her in such a state before and it reminded me of the first time Dallas had showed up soused, I'd been 18 at the time and he was 13, it was right before Ma had sent him away.

_I woke up to a loud clanging and grabbed the heater I kept in my night stand. Raleigh was fast asleep and I closed the door behind me as I went to investigate. Someone was fumbling around outside the door and I cautiously opened the door - gun pointed at the intruder._

_ "Christ. Don't shoot me, Memphis." Dallas put his hands up sheepishly grinning at me. He was sprawled out on the landing of our apartment trying to stand up._

_ "What are you doing?" I wanted to yell at him, but I felt like a hypocrite and I knew he'd call me out on it. Yanking up on his shirt I haul him to his feet, cussing._

_ "Hell, Memphis quit it." He pushed my arm away as I shake him. His eyes are glazed over and I'm afraid he'll drown in his own puke if I leave him so I sit him down in the kitchen._

_ "Drink some water. Eat some bread." I toss him the bread and pour him a glass, but he just sits there._

_ "You ever wonder why our parents hate us so much, Memphis?"_

_ "Because we're shit kids." I hated when people got emotional after drinking. I'd taught Dallas better than to go blabbering about our parents. _

_ "What about Raleigh? She ain't a shit kid." If Dallas was going to keep pushing this I was going to hit him for sure. _

_ "It doesn't matter Dallas. They don't like or give a shit about us and that's that. Get over it." He looks hurt but shoves a piece of bread into his mouth and gulps the water. _

Maybe I should have told him I gave a shit about him, then maybe he wouldn't have pointed that gun at the cops. Raleigh still has the tears brimming in her eyes, but is desperately trying to hide them. Maybe I should tell her.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm surprised Memphis isn't yelling more, it spooks me how calm he is. Curly Shepard had ditched me for some chick almost immediately after getting to the party. Someone had handed me a drink and after finishing it I'd grabbed another and headed to the back porch. I didn't know anyone and I had just been hoping Memphis would get there soon.

Memphis grabs the cup I put down and drains it making a face, "Don't do this again. Are you going to throw up?" I shake my head, but the motion makes my stomach churn and Memphis frowns. Taking another drag on the smoke I hope my stomach settles soon because I really don't want to throw up in front of him. We both turn towards the door when it slams, Sodapop and Steve are grinning at us.

"Guess you found her then?" Memphis stands up, but I stay down watching the three.

"What are you two doing here?"

"There's a race tonight. Dallas always liked the races, thought you might want to go." The idea of being in a fast car makes my stomach churn even more and I lean over the side of the porch spitting up my dinner.

I look up and Soda is staring, but Memphis doesn't seem to have noticed.

"Yea, I love races. Raleigh, come on." He turns towards me pulling me up, and with an empty stomach I feel a lot better. I grimace remembering the first time I went to a race, Dally had been there.

_"Come on Dallas let me drive." Dallas had stolen Memphis' car and I figured if I was going to get in trouble for helping I might as well get to drive._

_ "You're just a kid."_

_ "I'm only a year younger than you." I beg, but he doesn't relent. Neither of us were old enough to be driving at 14 and 13, but Dally had been driving since he was 10 anyways. _

_ "I told Sam we'd go to the races. Get in the back when I pick him up."_

_ "No way. I helped steal this car, I'm riding shot gun."_

_ "We didn't steal it, we're just borrowing. Memphis is never going to even know. Now get in the back." I slide over and sit in the middle refusing to ride in the back when Sam gets in. I start regretting it when Sam slides his hand onto my thigh. _

_ The races are down in an abandoned part of the city. There's a huge parking lot and a bunch of vacant buildings. We get out sitting on the hood and passing a cigarette back and forth as other people pull up. My throat tightens when I see a sleek, black car pulling in - it belongs to Memphis' best friend who scowls when he sees Dally, Sam and I lounging on Memphis' car. Then Memphis steps out of the passenger seat, a sick grin on his face._

_ "Sam get." Dally gives him a push and he wanders over to another car as Memphis makes his way towards us. _

_ "Shit." Dallas and I both mumble._

_ "You two dip-shits really think I wouldn't notice?" He bangs both our heads together and I let out a loud yelp. Grabbing Dallas up by his shirt he slams him into the car as I watch fearfully awaiting my own punishment, "If you ever take my car again I swear I'll send you to the hospital. You understand me?" Dallas was tough, but even hoods are afraid of their big brothers. Memphis draws back his fist and hits Dally across the cheek knocking him to the ground. He turns to me and I flinch. _

_ "Don't look at me like that." He growls as my eyes widen and I blink trying to look normal, "Get in the car." I shake my head no so he pushes me into the passenger seat, then getting into the driver's seat he starts the car, "Dally make you do this?" He pushes down on the gas and we lurch forward, I brace myself against the dash._

_ "No." I shake my head. Memphis' foot is pressing the gas all the way down and we are heading straight towards a wall._

_ "Was this your idea then?" We're getting dangerously close to the wall and I know his breaks aren't that great._

_ "Slow down! Memphis."_

_ "I asked you a fucking question, whose idea was this?" _

_ "Dallas, it was Dally's idea! Stop the car." We're inches from the wall and he jerks the wheel to the right slamming on the breaks. I fly forward and everything goes dark when my head hits the dash. _


	4. Chapter 4

Raleigh looks nervous getting into my car for the race. Guess I can't blame her after the last time we were at races together. I'd never seen Dallas so angry after she'd slammed her head on the dash.

_"You killed her, Memphis!" Dally was shaking our sister's shoulder. I wasn't sure how he'd gotten to the car so fast. I was still in my seat waiting for Raleigh to sit up. She just laid with her head on the dash, blood starting to drip onto my floor mats. Jumping out of the car I pull Dallas off her, but he lands a punch to my ribs. Surprised I take a step back losing my balance when he jumps on me and starts pounding his little fists into me. It's not too long before I have him off me and my friend, Mike, comes over to restrain him. _

_ "You bastard! I'm gonna kill you!" Returning to Raleigh I lifted her out of the seat and laid her on the pavement. There was a cut and bruise forming across her forehead, but her chest was still rising and falling. I try to gently shake her shoulder, and her eyes flutter. She's giving me the scared rabbit look I hate so much and I resist the urge to smack it off her face._

_ "Don't look at me like that." I half smirk and she winces, sitting up and holding her head._

_ "Raleigh, are you ok?" Mike lets Dallas go and he sits beside her putting a rag to her cut._

_ "I'm fine." _

Raleigh is quick to buckle her seat belt when we hop in. We'd been waiting around 20 minutes before I found someone I thought was worthy of racing.

"What you don't want to drive?" She frowns at me and stares ahead.

Steve and Soda's loud cheers can be heard from inside the car and when the girl in front of us throws down the flag I floor it. Raleigh is looking pale and I'm starting to regret bringing her. I don't have time to tell her not to puke though; I'm concentrating on getting in front of my opponent. I always won races because I wasn't afraid to lead foot it the whole way. Despite the guy having talked a good talk he falls behind within the first turn and I easily beat him. Raleigh throws open the door puking as soon as I stop.

Reaching over I grab up her long hair and put it behind her, "Don't say I never did nothing for you, kid." She gives me a strange look and follows me to stand beside Steve and Soda, "Stay here." I direct her heading over to collect my winnings.

"This is bullshit. You started early!" My competitor is red faced and yelling as I approach him. Adrenaline is still pulsing through me and that's all it takes to trigger my need to fight.

People are yelling about cops, but I can't control myself and let my fists continue to pummel the guy's face. He spits out a tooth and someone roughly pulls me off. I look up, cops, and manage to not resist as they shove me to the ground and cuff me.

"The other guy started it. Let him go." I recognize the pitiful little voice and look to Raleigh who Soda is holding back.

"Miss, get back unless you want to get hauled in with him!" The cop makes to give her a shove, but Soda pulls her back.

"Watch her!" I yell out as I'm put into the cop car.


	5. Chapter 5

Soda has his arms wrapped around me and I'm trying to pry myself free to get to Memphis, but the doors have already shut and I watch the cars zip away.

"Shit. Where's the station?" I push Soda off me and turn to the two boys.

"They're gonna hold him over night." Soda offers and I want to smack him.

"That's not what I asked." Steve grins at me but I ignore him, "Where is the station?"

Soda frowns at me, "It's just up the road. But like I said they ain't going to release him until tomorrow at the earliest, so you might as well come with me and Steve."

"I'll follow you." I start towards Memphis' car, but Soda grabs my shoulder.

"You ain't driving anywhere. We'll park his car outside my house." I shake my head, not wanting to argue and let him slip into the driver's seat. Steve waves bye setting off into his own car.

"Memphis is such a dumb ass sometimes." I vent surprised by my admission in the silent car. He knew the cops were coming, but he just kept pounding into that guy -it's not like he had anyone to impress around here.

"He doesn't seem too bad." I squint my eyes at Soda annoyed and he continues, "He's a lot like Dallas. So are you." His smile looks sad when he casts a glance at me.

"I think we knew two different Dallases."

"What do you mean?" He tilts his head.

"The Dallas I knew wouldn't have killed himself over some shit kid."

"Johnny wasn't some shit kid." Soda grips the wheel tightly and spits the words out. He doesn't look like someone that gets angry easily and it amuses me that he'd get all uptight over this.

"Sure." I mumble.

"Dallas loved Johnny. He was devastated when he died." I laugh.

"Dallas didn't love anything."

"He loved this gang, especially that kid." I'm confused by Soda's words and look out the window. Dallas didn't love anything I was sure of it. That was another constant, my brothers didn't love – it just wasn't in them.

"My Dad's house is down there." I point to the street Soda just passed but he doesn't turn around.

"I know where Dallas lived. You're staying at my house tonight. I'll take you up to the station tomorrow."

"Thanks." I'm relieved I don't have to go back to Dad's by myself. Soda still looks upset and I'm starting to feel a little bad. Dallas' friends here weren't like the ones he had in New York. They weren't used to death and they didn't take it lightly, "Sorry about your friend, Soda."

He nods gripping the wheel even tighter, "Johnny didn't deserve what happened to him. He was a sweet kid." I smile lightly and pat Soda's shoulder. If these were the kind of guys Dallas hung out with it was no wonder he went soft.

"I wanna take you somewhere. You mind?" I cast him a wary glance, Memphis was always accusing me of being too trusting. Sure this guy was one of Dallas' friends, but I didn't really know him. He must sense my apprehension because he adds, "We can go in the morning if you want."

"Nah. Let's go now."


	6. Chapter 6

Cops in Tulsa are a lot nicer, I mean for cops, maybe that's what made Dally stay.

"Winston? Didn't think I'd ever be hearing that name again." The cop booking me smiles sadly, "You know Dally?"

"He was my brother." I hand him my license and if I didn't know better I'd say he winces.

"In town for the funeral then?" He asks filling out the paperwork and I nod, "Your brother caused me a world of trouble, but I never expected him to go out like that." The officer shakes his head frowning.

"You knew him then?" Was Dallas getting friendly with cops?

"Knew him? Hell he practically lived here." The man laughs, "Like I said pain in my ass, but always knew there was something more to him. Read that story about him helping to save those kids, most people didn't believe it was him, but I knew it had to be." I frown. When Raleigh had showed me the article about Dally and his friends saving some kids from a burning building I'd laughed. The little prick hated little kids, and there he was running through fire for them.

I shake my head, "Pretty stupid of him." The officer frowns.

"He was a hero. Tragic is what it was. You're going to have to stay the night. We can release you in 48 hours. Got it?" I nod and he leads me back to a cell. Tragic? I hadn't thought of Dallas' death as tragic. It was nothing more than pathetic.

"Winston." Tim Shepard is sitting on a cot in the cell next to me and I give him a nod, "See you and Dallas have more than just your looks in common. What'd they haul you in for?"

"Fighting. What are you here for, Shepard?"

"Fighting." He grins like we have something in common and I can feel myself scowling. No wonder Dallas only half liked/put up with this guy.

"So this is Dallas' big brother?" Another big bellied cop comes sauntering over to eye me up and down, "Heard you didn't even put up a fight when you were arrested. Doesn't sound very Winston like to me?"

"Well my brother never fully appreciated the work of our police force." I smile slyly laying it on thick.

"Wish I could have been one of the guys that put a bullet through that useless little shit." The bars are the only thing saving the cop right now and he must know it because he laughs and walks off.

"Dallas and Parker never got along. Bunch of bastards the lot of them." I look over at Tim who looks offended by the cop's comment, "Bet they knew that gun wasn't loaded. Just shot him anyways."

"What was he thinking?" I mumble and hope that Tim hasn't heard, but he still responds.

"He really cared about that kid. When he died something just went off in him. Can't really explain it myself." I stare at Tim for a while then look down at my feet wondering how many times Dally had been in this cell sitting on this cot before - wishing I would have visited more often so maybe he wouldn't think he was so alone.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm not sure where I expect Soda to take me, but when we pull up to a vacant lot I'm starting to regret my decision. Still, I follow him when he hops out.

"First time Johnny got jumped by the socs we found him here. Saw his jacket lying over there." Soda motions to a location in the distance, "We thought he left it there, but then there was blood on it and we saw him huddled against the wall." Soda shakes his head, "Johnny's parents weren't so great, always beating on him. Dally thought he had to protect him or something. There was nothing we could do about his parents, but we should have been able to keep the socs away. Anyways the guy had a bunch of rings and just busted up his face. Thought Dally was going to kill someone he was so mad." I frown, unable to picture Dally upset over some kid getting beat.

"Dally wouldn't act like that." I stare at Soda, why would he lie to me? Soda smiles softly.

"Johnny wasn't really the same after that. Scared of his own shadow, poor kid."

"I don't understand. Dallas hated when people were weak."

"It was different with Johnny. I guess he felt bad for him. He told me his gang here was different from New York. That we were like family." I frown and he adds, "Told me he'd knock me out if I ever told anyone that." I smile slightly, that sounded more like Dally.

Soda starts walking and I follow him across the street to a park where he stops in front of a water fountain.

"This is where the soc tried to drown my little brother. Johnny stabbed him." I look closer and the shadows of a blood stain still remains, "Still can't believe Johnny stabbed someone."

"Then Dallas helped them hide, right?" I was trying to recall the newspaper article I'd skimmed about Dallas' death.

"Yea he put them on a train out of town, told the cops they went to Mexico." Soda looks away for a moment.

"Dallas was always good in a crisis." Soda smiles.

"After the fire we had a rumble with the socs, beat them good. Dallas left the hospital early to join in. He wanted vengeance for Johnny. The doctors had told us his outlook wasn't good and even if he survived he'd be paralyzed. After the rumble he ran back to tell Johnny the good news but the kid just died."

"Then he killed himself."

"Gun wasn't even loaded. I don't known, maybe he thought he could get away." His voice fades into the darkness and I can tell he's trying to choke back some tears. I can tell Soda wants to make me understand, but I still didn't get it.

"Dallas always knew what he was doing." I must look sad because Soda pulls me in for a hug. It makes me uncomfortable and I stiffen up. I hadn't hugged anyone in what felt like ages.

_"Why does Dallas have to leave? Can't we send Memphis instead?" I whine to Ma and Memphis gives me an evil eye._

_ "Shut your mouth before I send you too."_

_ "But, Ma, Memphis is old enough to move out on his own." She slaps me hard and I hear a chuckle from Memphis._

_ "I said shut your trap." She sauntered to her room to bother Dallas some more about packing. _

_ "This is your fault." I stand over Memphis with a sour expression. _

_ "It's his own fault he got caught."_

_ "But you're the one that told him to steal the car." He smacks the side of my head pressing a hand over my mouth._

_ "Keep quiet." He looks over to Dallas' room._

_ "I hate you."_

_ "Yea well I hate you too. Now get out of my site for I beat your ass." I wince and run outside to the landing. _

_ It's not long before Dallas joins me. He's carrying two duffel bags and has a smoke dangling from his lips. He gives me a small smile._

_ "Hurry on up and catch a cab or you'll miss your flight." Ma is yelling._

_ "Well it's been fun, little sister." Dallas moves to leave but I catch him around the middle. I'm surprised when he drops his bags and wraps his arms around me, "I'll miss you kid. Don't be too much of a headache for Memphis." And that was the last time I saw Dallas._


	8. Chapter 8

"Dal and I sure did raise some hell around here. No one quite like him." Tim has been entertaining me with stories about Dallas for the past hour and I'm starting to think he had a crush on him or something.

"This is an outrage! Since when can a man not go out and drink at a bar!" An almost incoherent man is drug through the doors and thrown into my cells. I groan when I recognize him as my father.

"Looks like you've got company, Winston." My Dad looks at me and swears.

"All my kids are the goddamned same." I want to punch him in the face but I just sneer. Dan and our Mom had been high school sweet hearts. They had me when they were 16, got divorced after they had Dallas, and Dad left town on Raleigh's 6th birthday. Ma never let us take his name so we were stuck with Winston. I'd been angry at him for a long time, but figured Raleigh and Dal would be better off without him anyways.

"You're probably not even mine, with that whore for a mother." I laugh, we all looked just like our Dad.

"Sure, Dad."

"You're gonna end up just like that boy. Full of bullets." Dad scrunches up his face, "Hell guess I wasn't much of a father. At Dallas' funeral all his friends were saying things about him and all I could think was that I didn't know a goddamn thing about him." I move away from my father because I'm not interested in his story, but he continues anyways, "He lived in my house for 2 years and he was more of a roommate or a stray cat than my son. He came and went and I never told him to go to school or be home by dark." Dad shakes his head, sitting down and hanging it between his legs.

"Fuck you." Is all I can think to say. Dad looks up and he's crying, I feel beyond uncomfortable, and hate the look that Tim is giving me. It almost looks like pity and no one pities me.

"My father was a drunk too. He'd beat us till we were black and blue all over. I was your age once; I didn't want to be like him. That's why I left you know? I did you all a favor." I'm not sure I understand what he's talking about. Sure Dad had always been a drinker, but he never hit us, hell he couldn't even hug us.

"You're fucking crazy old man, shut up." Tim shouts from the cell over.

"What are you talking about? You left because you are a lazy fucker." I growl at him.

"That little girl was just bugging me. I thought I was going to kill her. She just kept asking over and over if it was time for cake yet. She was just a kid I shouldn't have got so mad. I smacked her and she started crying, her nose was bleeding all over the place. I just left. I thought I'd become everything I hated and I just... I had to leave." He pauses starting off. I'd never heard this story before; Raleigh had never said anything about Dad hitting her. I remembered she'd had a nose bleed, but she'd said she'd tripped, "Who knows maybe if I'd beat you more, your brother would still be alive." Dad mumbles then passes out drooling on the cot. I lean against the cell wall and watch him. I didn't want to end up like him either.

"Parents suck man." Tim is trying to strike up a conversation and I want to ignore him but he offers me a smoke so I oblige him.

"Dallas ever say anything about him?" I jerk my thumb towards the passed out man.

Tim laughs, "All I ever heard him say was that his old man didn't care if he was dead in a ditch. That he was an old drunk bastard. We rolled a drunk one time and stole his cash. He told me afterwards that it was his old man." I smirk at this glad Dallas could get one over on him.

My lack of response eventually ends in Tim giving up and falling asleep. I can't fall sleep though, Dad has me transfixed. Even though I tried to ignore him, all his words had hit me hard. He didn't want to be this and yet here he was a 50 year old alcoholic still getting hauled into the station. I'd always figured he was a heartless bastard - that that's where we all got it - but maybe there was more to him than that. Maybe there was more to me.


	9. Chapter 9

Soda lets me go and I stare at the fountain for a while. The question I really want answered is if Dallas could love this Johnny kid, why couldn't he love me?

"What is it?" I flinch when Soda puts a hand on my shoulder. It wasn't the kind of question you ask someone you've just met though so I shrug, "Come on I know there's something." He furrows his eyebrows looking at me.

"You can't tell anyone. Especially Memphis." Soda tilts his head.

"I'm pretty good at keeping secrets."

"Did Dal ever say anything about me?" Soda looks confused.

"Sure I mean he told us he had a sister."

"No I mean... It's just. Never mind." I can feel my cheeks flushing, something that hasn't happened in a long while.

"No go on." Soda coaxes me rubbing my shoulder.

"I just thought if he loved this kid, why couldn't he love me?" I look away slightly ashamed to be asking, and Soda's face droops.

"Aww kid, I'm sure he did." I frown and Soda can tell that wasn't the answer I was looking for, "I mean he didn't go around sharing his feelings." He laughs trying to lighten the mood.

"Yea well he killed himself over Johnny. He barely even called me." I sigh annoyed I've shared so much. I don't like that Soda looks so sad for me and I try to push him away when he puts an arm around me.

"I wish I could tell you what you want to hear." His voice is strained and he puts his forehead to mine. Suddenly I'm aware of how close we are and how deserted this park really is. My heart beats too fast and Soda looks conflicted. I decide to make up his mind for him and push forward brushing our lips. He pulls me down on the wet grass kissing me hungrily. I had expected Soda's kisses to be gentle but they're harsh and demanding, no one had ever kissed me like that before and I was just starting to enjoy it when someone cleared their throat.

"Sodapop Curtis." Darry is standing above us and after hauling Soda off me offers me a hand. I ignore it and push myself up brushing off a leaf from my jeans. I'm waiting for Soda to say something but he's just staring down at his shoes looking ashamed, "We'll talk about this in the morning." Darry's cheeks look red and he motions for us to follow him back to his truck.

"My brother's car." I weakly remember. Darry stares at the two of us then finally relents.

"No stopping. Come straight to our house, Sodapop." Soda nods and I follow him.

Soda is frowning when he starts up the car, "I'm sorry, Raleigh. I shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?" I want him to kiss me again, so I can feel the warmth of his tongue pressing itself against mine.

He puts a hand through my hair sighing, "You're Dally's little sister." Darry's truck is still sitting waiting for us to take off so Soda starts inching forward and we sit in silence the rest of the way.

Inside I lay down on the couch and try to listen into the conversation Darry is having with Soda. He'd followed him into his room giving me a gruff goodnight and even though he was trying to stay quiet I could still hear his angry voice,

"Soda, she just lost her brother. You can't take advantage of that."

"I know, Darry. It's just I don't know, she seemed so sad." Great he'd felt bad for me and that's why he kissed me.

"It's Dally's litte sister. She's off limits. Understand?" Soda's door reopens and I pretend to be asleep when Darry comes to check on me. I hear him sigh and once he heads to his room I drift off to sleep.


End file.
